You cannot escape 50 Shades of Grey (or as I still like to think of it courtesy of Cate Pearce, Fifty Shades of Unmitigated Crap). It is seriously everywhere; in book stores, on social media and in the news. I’ve continued to avoid this phenomenon as I really don’t understand the appeal of reading porn. And it seems Kristen Stewart agrees with me. When she was asked about 50 Shades of Grey recently, she said “But it’s just so raunchy! I mean, obviously, everyone knows that. But when I see people reading it on planes and stuff, I’m genuinely creeped out. Like, you’re basically just reading porn right now! Get that blanket off your lap!” Yes indeed Kristen, yes indeed.
And she’s not the only celebrity talking about it. Earlier this week Jesse Williams (you know, the crazy attractive guy who plays Dr Jackson Avery on Grey’s Anatomy? Still don’t know? Google him and thank me later) tweeted “50 Shades of Grey leads woman to divorce her husband” with the screen shot of an article about a woman who is divorcing her “boring” husband after her attempts to kick-start their love life failed. I’m not even remotely kidding.
According to The New York Daily News:
A British woman is divorcing her hubby on grounds the erotic bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey failed to get a rise out of his languishing libido.
The high-powered banker, who earns more than $600,000 a year, charged that her attempt to jump start their love life with author E.L. James’s raunchy novel backfired when her “boring” husband accused her of “unreasonable behavior.”
The 41-year-old woman’s attorney said it was the first time someone has cited the book — dubbed “mommy porn” for its explicit themes of bondage and S&M in a divorce petition.
“She thought their sex life had hit a rut — he never remembered Valentine’s Day and he never complimented her on her appearance,” divorce lawyer Amanda McAlister told the Daily Mail, who did not name her client or the soon-to-be ex-husband.
Click on the link above to read the rest of the story.
What the actual shit? I’ve heard whispers that Twilight has been responsible for arguments, break ups and divorces when partners haven’t behaved like Edward or Jacob. To me, this is mental. These are fictional characters and terrible ones at that. Do you really like the idea of someone who is basically stalking you (aka Christian Grey)? What’s attractive about that? Everyone loses their crap over Edward, but what’s romantic about breaking into basically a strangers room and watching them sleep? If I woke up with some guy standing in my room watching me, after screaming and throwing things, I’d be calling the police.
And don’t even get me started on the big romantic gesture involving flowers, mad dashes to the airport and holding a boom-box over head outside a window. These things just don’t happen in real life and when they do, it’s a little awkward. I’d prefer the little things over the great romantic gestures. Lately, Mamamia (fairytales and The Notebook), KiKi & Tea and even the lovely Sonja have spoken about how fictional characters set us up for failure of expectations that are impossible to meet.
Why do we find ourselves wanting romance that is fictional? Real life is so much better than that. It’s being made a cup of tea in the morning while you’re getting ready for work, it’s being kissed on the forehead and being bought your favourite juice and chocolate without asking for it. It’s covering you with a blanket when you’ve fallen asleep on the lounge. It’s calming you down when you’re having a freak out. It’s squeezing your hand when you tear up. It’s knowing to do these things. I’d take these any day.
I still experience romance, but I also experience the mundane that these fictional characters in fictional stories gloss over. And why do I love it? Because it’s real.
What kind of romance do you want? Are you a grand gesture or little things person? Is there a fictional character you wish existed so you could date them?